Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Finally got the news. I’m in. My number is 1789. The doctors have started me on the meds for chem-lung so that it will be gone before I travel. I really struggled to be calm when told. I wanted to hug the guy. Even now...I’m going to leaving Earth! It doesn’t seem real. I guess it won’t until I’m on the ship. I’m on Siren. I hope that’s a good thing, apparently the ships are named after mythological creatures.
Friday, September 26, 2014
Knocked back a guy who wanted a date and he got shitty with me. He thinks there should be a ballot and that the lucky winners get to choose a woman of their choice. It had better not come to that. I don't know if I'm even ready to date or trust a man. I know they aren't all dicks, but I hated feeling that vulnerable.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Not heard anything for weeks. There’s only a couple of months until the ships leave. If I haven’t made the cut...I don’t even want to think about it. They want people with construction experience and I have twenty years, but most of the prisoners getting offered places are in their twenties. What are they looking for? Experience or young blood to do the hard work? Keep getting reminded about that, the recruiters keep reinforcing that there will be a lot of hard labor involved. What do they think most of us have been doing all of our lives?
Friday, September 19, 2014
Oh dear God. As part of our practical training we had to go to a slum hospital. They have out-dated machines and are running on donations. They thought we were the answer to their prayers. I was lucky not to get real sick as a kid. These people have illnesses that can easily be treated, there are drugs for chem-lung, antibiotics for infection but they can’t afford it. Some people had maggots on their wounds to remove the rotting tissue. Maggots—that’s just so last millennia. That’s what I have to look forward to unless the research base has found a way to synth antibiotics from natural plants on Solitaire. We did what we could. Handed out drugs where we could. Apparently the Army medical branch does his on a regular basis as goodwill. You know what would be better? Letting people access medical care—apparently that hasn’t been the case in over 200 years. I forgot how lucky I was to be in the Army. Glad I didn’t get out.
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
So Zane put forward a proposal to me today. He'll look out for me if we share a bed. It's selfish to admit I felt some relief at the idea as I've heard the men will greatly outnumber the women. That's like putting gas near a hot flame. Despite my rank, I can't see me being safe from men who aren't getting their quota of sex. But with Zane as my lover and protector, I'd be strictly out-of-bounds. I know it's worth thinking about at the very least.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Right, second interview and a far more detailed medical and psych evaluation. I didn’t dare admit that I stole water just to get here. I’m beginning to feel I might pull this off. I hate farming so much. I miss the heights and I miss building stuff.
Monday, September 15, 2014
I found a small community today. They've let us in, for now. But I can't help but feel we're outsiders and that any little so called transgression will see us kicked out for good. In the meantime I've been relegated to the worst possible jobs, like burying the sewerage and killing and plucking the half-starved poultry whose egg-laying days are too few and far between. But my wife and I are safe enough here and I'll do whatever I can to stay for as long as we can.
Friday, September 12, 2014
So far I’m acing the tests. This is good as the more I pass the more training opens up—they aren’t training everyone to be doctors, they are being selective. What’s interesting is that even the officers who are doctors (they must have been tower educated to get into officer training—that or their family saved up of they aced some aptitude test) aren’t sneering at us. It’s like they want us to learn. It’s odd. The medical branch of the Army is totally different to the Infantry where background pegs you in place forever. Maybe going to Solitaire will let the old class boundaries fall. Or maybe I’ve drunk too much beer tonight. Beer...I’m going to miss you. And chocolate—not that I can afford it but I’ve tried it a couple of times and it was good. (Also better than sex—well sex with Lt Zane anyway).
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
The visit to my parents has left me feeling flat. I can't muster any enthusiasm for the journey ahead, at least not right now. Not while I imagine my parents left alone to die, and my mother probably the last to go. Who will look after her? Who will bury her? It doesn't bear thinking about. Grief is my middle name and I can only hope my guilt at leaving my mom and dad behind will fade the farther away we get.
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Recruiter came through the prison and gave a speech to some of us about Solitaire. Most didn’t care. I didn’t realize so many people were against the idea of a new planet. I mean we should be looking after this one first, but hell this is a new opportunity. This is what I got arrested for. I stuck my name on his list, but there's a long way to go yet.
Monday, September 8, 2014
I think my wife blames me for present situation. Yeah, I hated the towers, but there I wasn't stupid enough to want to try and live in the real world while supporting a family. Hell, I'm not sure yet where my wife will even have our baby. The hospitals are full, the care factor of the few remaining doctors and nurses, almost zero. Everyone seems despondent now and ready to give in to their fates. Though I've heard the people supposedly lucky enough to board the Earth Ships that are heading toward Solitaire and its Colony, Unity, seem to revel in their newfound hope. Huh. Good luck to them. I have my doubts living on an inhospitable rock could be any better than Earth - if they even make the journey.
Friday, September 5, 2014
Honestly that man is like a dead fish sewn inside a pocket. Would you believe that Lt Zane is on the trip? What are the odds? I don’t know if he requested to go or if he was told he was going, but I saw him on base today. I nearly died. The horror of that night came back and I started having trouble breathing it was as if he had his hands on my throat again.
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
I visited my parents today, a bittersweet experience and one that I'm almost glad not to repeat. My father hasn't got long left on this world and my mother - I think her heart will break long before her spirit. She asked me not to visit them again, she doesn't want my memories of them to be blighted by seeing them sick. When she gave me a precious, hand-knitted blanket to take with me as something to remember them by, I had to choke back my tears. My parents are everything to me, but I know that by staying on Earth I might well be signing my death warrant right along with theirs.
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Sentenced today to five years on the farms. Can’t get the news so I have no idea what is happening with the ships. Check up on admittance to the prison has confirmed chem-lung. Without meds I’ll be dead in a few years. They don’t treat prisoners. I’m pretty screwed.